I have been running longer than many of you have been alive. As such I want to part with some of the wisdom I have accumulated over the years (OK, I admit it’s closer to a dusting but it is an old dusting. OK that just sounds weird (what’s new around here)). Anyway, here are some answers to common running questions.
1. What should I eat for a pre-race meal?
Great question. There are two schools of thought. One school of thought is not to eat anything pre-race. This is a horrible idea. 2-3 hours before the start you should eat a light meal of 14 oz of steak for protein, half a pizza for carbs, and gallon of ice cream because what good is a meal if there is no dessert involved.
2. How long should my long run be?
Take the distance of your target race and multiple by 5. Multiple that number by the cosine of the largest hill on the race course and then add your age and then covert to base two. Then ignore all that and run within 10% of the race distance.
3. How should I fuel during my race?
Remember question 1 when I said to have a half of a pizza. Now you can eat the other half. Bonus points if there are anchovies on it.
4. What pace should I try for in my race?
The top speed of a cheetah is around 70 MPH. Try and keep it slightly below that or you will go out too fast.
5. Where should I line up to start the race?
Hey, you paid the same entrance fee as everyone else, so you step up to the front where you deserve to be.
6. Should I slow down at the water stops?
Heck no! In fact many races take 10 seconds for each water cup you knock out of a volunteer’s hand so see how many you can knock to the ground.
7. Are there differences between a color run and a regular race?
Who cares? If Lebron James can toss chalk up in the air, so can you and make every run a color run. This works especially well at races like Marine Corps or Boston Marathons.
8. Should I listen to music?
Music can help pass the time away during your race. However, since not everyone can afford a mp3 player you should blast your tunes using a portable speaker to help spread the joy.
9. I’m starting to think you don’t have my best interests in mind.
Well if you look at the title, it is “Help you, help me”. By totally screwing up your race it will help me place higher. You’re welcome.